Summer has come about again - time for Fright Night - Rated out of five based on horror-film vibe.
Use of expletives throughout.
First on the list is Stitches (2012). To see Ross Noble in this completely insane, ridiculous film is bizarre to say the least. When a clown is slighted and subsequently dies at a child's party, he returns to finish the party some six years later. How ghoulish. This was clearly made as a pisstake film, and so any utter bullshit is bettered by not-so-bullshit bullshit. What this film really does is confirm that clowns can be terrifying. Prepare for ridiculous use of fake blood and gore, as well as hyperbolised deaths. Oh my, it must have taken a long time to clean up. 3.0/5
Now for a film which is a tad more scary/they actually wanted a proper horror film is Open Grave (2012), starring Sharlto Copley (District 9, Maleficent). A man wakes up in a mass grave with no memory of who he is or how he got there, and finds five others of equal memory loss. This film could be considered a new take on the zombie virus but does jump about the place. Very bloody different from Stitches. 3.3/5
One of my favourite S.Korean films is Hansel and Gretel. A mixture of Grimm tales and superpowers all beautifully coloured and filmed, though it's not all pretty rainbows - this film goes to many a dark place. Violence of all natures present, so not for the light hearted with abuse and revenge - but a positive enough ending to be able to sleep at night. 4.8/5
Another good S.Korean film is Thirst, which goes through about three major style changes but the overall vibe is a vampire story. At the end of this film, you'll probably be wary of white recorders, miracle priests and anyone who doesn't come out in sunlight. 4.3/5
If you've over watched the classics, a by so classic but still pretty good vampire film is 30 Days of Night starring Josh Hartnett (Lucky Number Slevin), the sexy New Zealander, Manu Bennett (Arrow) and sexy Aussie, Melissa George (Hunted). A freighter lands near a small Alaskan town full of crazy-shit vampires who take advantage of the month without sunlight and the its remoteness. Gory violence and strong language - and the failing marriage of protagonists just to add a soppy vibe to the mostly-dark vampire takeover vibe. 4.2/5
For a fun, not exactly scary vampire substitute, go for Blade - who doesn't love Deacon Frost ? 3.9/5
Eden Lake (2008), starring Kelly Reilly and a then barely known Michael Fassbender. When this film came out, chatter about it passed through my school like wildfire. It was the hardcore choice of film - I can't actually remember if I watched it straight to the end, which makes suggesting it rather strange. The premise may seem boring, but the film was pulled together really well and is one of the British horror films actually worth watching as many are crud. 3.7/5
A classic and a must watch marvel is The Wicker Man (1973) which is so much better than the half-arsed American version it's unreal. Set in an imaginary island off of mainland Scotland, a police officer is called in to investigate the report of a missing child, whom everyone on the island refuses to recognise. Some nudity... in fact, quite a lot, but no modern-day horror traits. 4.8/5
Another foreign horror film, though not so scary, is the "documentary" film on trolls called Troll Hunter (2010). Set in Norway, three students vibe off across the country following someone they believe to be a bear poacher and recording their journey along the way. This film is more of a laugh than a nail biter, but still has the ability to scare the willies out of you at certain moments. Kudos to SFX. 3.7/5
The Purge (2013) starring Lena Headey (GoT, Dredd, 300) and Ethan Hawke (Boyhood, Before Midnight, Sinister) in a dystopian not-so-distant future. The government of USA has assigned one day of each year to "purging" the anger from peoples' souls - violence, crime, even murder will go unpunished for twelve hours - in these twelve hours emergency services will not answer any calls. This in itself is an ingenious film idea, and just thinking that it could be true makes one sick to the bone. - As the family lock up, they run until ... A little bit of trouble when they get in the way of Rhys Wakefield (The Black Balloon) and his gangs' purge. Crazy bloody violence, loud noises and hushed tones. Suspenseful to say the least. A sequel will be out later this summer. 3.9/5
Out of all these, The Purge is probably the closest style of horror film and is well worth a watch.
Use of expletives throughout.
First on the list is Stitches (2012). To see Ross Noble in this completely insane, ridiculous film is bizarre to say the least. When a clown is slighted and subsequently dies at a child's party, he returns to finish the party some six years later. How ghoulish. This was clearly made as a pisstake film, and so any utter bullshit is bettered by not-so-bullshit bullshit. What this film really does is confirm that clowns can be terrifying. Prepare for ridiculous use of fake blood and gore, as well as hyperbolised deaths. Oh my, it must have taken a long time to clean up. 3.0/5
Now for a film which is a tad more scary/they actually wanted a proper horror film is Open Grave (2012), starring Sharlto Copley (District 9, Maleficent). A man wakes up in a mass grave with no memory of who he is or how he got there, and finds five others of equal memory loss. This film could be considered a new take on the zombie virus but does jump about the place. Very bloody different from Stitches. 3.3/5
One of my favourite S.Korean films is Hansel and Gretel. A mixture of Grimm tales and superpowers all beautifully coloured and filmed, though it's not all pretty rainbows - this film goes to many a dark place. Violence of all natures present, so not for the light hearted with abuse and revenge - but a positive enough ending to be able to sleep at night. 4.8/5
Another good S.Korean film is Thirst, which goes through about three major style changes but the overall vibe is a vampire story. At the end of this film, you'll probably be wary of white recorders, miracle priests and anyone who doesn't come out in sunlight. 4.3/5
If you've over watched the classics, a by so classic but still pretty good vampire film is 30 Days of Night starring Josh Hartnett (Lucky Number Slevin), the sexy New Zealander, Manu Bennett (Arrow) and sexy Aussie, Melissa George (Hunted). A freighter lands near a small Alaskan town full of crazy-shit vampires who take advantage of the month without sunlight and the its remoteness. Gory violence and strong language - and the failing marriage of protagonists just to add a soppy vibe to the mostly-dark vampire takeover vibe. 4.2/5
For a fun, not exactly scary vampire substitute, go for Blade - who doesn't love Deacon Frost ? 3.9/5
Eden Lake (2008), starring Kelly Reilly and a then barely known Michael Fassbender. When this film came out, chatter about it passed through my school like wildfire. It was the hardcore choice of film - I can't actually remember if I watched it straight to the end, which makes suggesting it rather strange. The premise may seem boring, but the film was pulled together really well and is one of the British horror films actually worth watching as many are crud. 3.7/5
A classic and a must watch marvel is The Wicker Man (1973) which is so much better than the half-arsed American version it's unreal. Set in an imaginary island off of mainland Scotland, a police officer is called in to investigate the report of a missing child, whom everyone on the island refuses to recognise. Some nudity... in fact, quite a lot, but no modern-day horror traits. 4.8/5
Another foreign horror film, though not so scary, is the "documentary" film on trolls called Troll Hunter (2010). Set in Norway, three students vibe off across the country following someone they believe to be a bear poacher and recording their journey along the way. This film is more of a laugh than a nail biter, but still has the ability to scare the willies out of you at certain moments. Kudos to SFX. 3.7/5
The Purge (2013) starring Lena Headey (GoT, Dredd, 300) and Ethan Hawke (Boyhood, Before Midnight, Sinister) in a dystopian not-so-distant future. The government of USA has assigned one day of each year to "purging" the anger from peoples' souls - violence, crime, even murder will go unpunished for twelve hours - in these twelve hours emergency services will not answer any calls. This in itself is an ingenious film idea, and just thinking that it could be true makes one sick to the bone. - As the family lock up, they run until ... A little bit of trouble when they get in the way of Rhys Wakefield (The Black Balloon) and his gangs' purge. Crazy bloody violence, loud noises and hushed tones. Suspenseful to say the least. A sequel will be out later this summer. 3.9/5
Out of all these, The Purge is probably the closest style of horror film and is well worth a watch.
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